Apparently my kids are creepy.

Their mother shot this video of them a few months ago and posted it on YouTube for her friends and family. It got picked up by some yahoo, who posted it on his Facebook wall for some other yahoo who works at KROQ. And now the ginger bashers are out trying to discredit how awesome my kids are by claiming that they’re “creepy” and have no “souls”. Well, fuck them. If a soul is what makes your hair a dumb and boring color, then I don’t want one.

Just because my kids are different doesn’t mean that they’re not better than you. Face.

Also, last night Sean informed me that he was, in fact, a 20 year old red arm, named Zak. Since red arms can’t talk, that was the abrupt end to our conversation.


Gabriel dropped this gem on me last night:

“I don’t have a head made of 5,000 pinballs!”

He was pretty insistent.

Sean has found his soapbox. He climbed it this morning to bemoan the loss of the “good old days of Cartoon Network”, starting a protest of the “new Cartoon Network”. I’m thoroughly amused by this concept coming from the mind of a five year old. Especially considering that all the shows he enjoys watching were produced in his lifetime.


“Dad, Sean keeps fisting me.”
The youngest tattling on his brother for hitting him.

Sean: “Did you just smack my butt?!”
Me: “Yes, I did.”
Sean: “Why did you smack my butt?!”
Me: “Because you’re my son and I can smack your butt anytime I want. When you grow up and have kids, you can smack their butts all you want.”
Gabriel: “Sean can share mine. I’m going to make a lot of kids and Sean can share some of mine.”

It was a good day for Stuff My Kids Said.